A reminder from Elwing Sương Gonzalez: Magical thinking hurts

Via Elwing Bling


"Ways to stop killing your soul #3  • That wishing is a prison • for nothing -- not a lottery ticket, not a perfect mate, not a dream job -- nothing will save you but you ••• you are the only one in the driver's seat in your life, and the sooner you jump fully behind the steering wheel, the sooner you steer your own life into the magic that is all around"










I often drift into thinking there's one missing ingredient that I could add to transform myself and my life forever - the right job, the right body, the right community, whatever. And I feel sh*tty about whatever is currently going on in the meantime.

This morning I felt weighed down and started trying to diagnose why: Is it my job? No, must be my body. Must be what I drank or ate. Maybe it's all of it. Yeah. I'm just a mess.

I listened to a recovery podcast I've been playing a lot lately but still had the lingering feeling of ...wrongness. Then I saw this post. The message of the post is a little different than what I'm taking from it, which is that there is no change in circumstances that will make life not feel like...life.

Being alive means feeling tired and not wanting to get out of bed sometimes, regardless of my diet or my body or what job I'm going into. It means worrying about the future and the past and other things I can't change, and feeling overwhelmed. That's the gig. If I can remember that I'm not doing anything wrong and these feelings aren't a punishment or symptom of me not being good enough, but just the feelings that come with being alive, I can be tired without adding all these other bad feelings and judgments about my life to it. My job is fine, my body is fine. Even the fact that I spiral into magical thinking is fine.

Being human is like being a wishing machine. I'm not broken. I can accept this part of myself.

There's more to me, and more to my life (just as it is) than what my worries tell me.